In the 4 years that Dan and I have been shooting weddings together, we’ve found it surprisingly common for important friends and family members to be absent from the most important moments of the day. And of course, if they’re not around for the moment, they’re not around for the photo of that moment, either!
Our favorite weddings are the ones in which the couple is literally surrounded by their loved ones at all times during the day — not just bridesmaids or groomsmen, but all the different people who have played roles in their lives.
Obviously not everyone can be there at all times (and nor should they be!), but there ARE ways to plan your wedding celebration to make sure you’re including your friends and family as much as possible.
For those of you not quite sure how to incorporate all of these key players, we’ve put together some of our favorite examples from real weddings we’ve photographed.
If you have any other great ideas for including the people you love, feel free to share in the comments!
One. Chill.
The guys are the worst when it comes to getting great natural photographs. They tend to all put on their suits then sit around stiffly until they can hit the bar at the reception. Dan loves it when he can get photographs of the guys doing their “guy stuff”.

Bill’s dad and groomsmen play pool at a local pub before it’s time to suit up.

Mike and his groomsmen play croquet outside the inn where they all stayed the night before.
Two. Prepare and share.
Sure, your coordinator CAN help you bustle your dress, but wouldn’t you rather see people you know and love in your photos? Make sure you share your preparations with people who will be just as excited as you are to be getting ready for your wedding!

Laura’s family looks admiringly on as she has her makeup done.

Jessica’s mom helps her adjust her necklace.
Three. Have some family time.
Some of the greatest natural moments happen when everyone is just relaxing, mingling, and enjoying one another’s company. We love it when the family gathers a half-hour or so before the ceremony in a private room. Lots of love is shared, and the excitement builds while everyone waits for the big moment. This is an especially good time for photographs of the grandparents, who often leave the reception earlier than the other guests, and may not take to the dance floor.

Sarah’s grandmothers share a laugh in the bride’s room.

Grandmother and mother wait excitedly backstage for Joni and Chip’s ceremony to begin.
Four. Ceremony a la EVERYONE!
Even if you’re a pretty traditional person, there are so many ways to include your family in your ceremony. The whole POINT of the wedding day is the ceremony itself, so we love it when couples integrate the people who love them most into this wonderful ritual.

Caroline walks down the aisle with BOTH of her parents. (Just minutes before, her groom Stowe was escorted in by both of his parents as well!)

Cicely’s Dad shares a blessing over the newlyweds-to-be during their ceremony.

Alissa and Ben’s closest friends gather around them to pray before they say their I Do’s.
Five. Do a little dance.
The first dance between the bride and groom is usually a given, and a father/daughter dance is pretty common, too. But what about some special dances dedicated to other important people in your life?

Megan dances with her grandfather.

Kevin dances with his bride Whitney’s mom. His own mom lost her life to breast cancer, and was honored throughout the evening in various ways, including a donation made to cure research.
Six. A toast!
Invite people who know you well to share a toast — and let them know that it’s okay not to be traditional! A toast can be ANYTHING that shows support of you as you embark on your new journey as a married person.

Caroline reaches for a hug after her brothers toasted the newlyweds with a stunning rendition of Ben Harper’s “Not Fire, Not Ice.”

Anna is surrounded by her sorority sisters for a traditional song.
Seven. Entertain.
If you have a large wedding and cannot give one-on-one attention to all of your guests all evening, it’s good to give them a reason to stay! We get GREAT photographs when guests stick around and party!

Guests at Sara and Jacob’s guests get stirred up by their incredible live wedding band, Papa Sol!

Jana and John commissioned a painter to create a one-of-a-kind painting of their wedding reception. Guests are enthralled watching the artist at work.
As you put together the timeline for your wedding day, just don’t forget about all the folks who helped make you into the person you are today! Photographs of them celebrating with you will be such a treasure as the years pass. Include the people you love!
Cheers!
